A Lady In Waiting

Many of us have nicknames or have created one for ourselves, whether its for a twitter, facebook, or instagram -we all have one. For me I call myself "A Lady in Waiting," sounds creative right? This name is more than some creative "social media name" it is something that I have become and has changed my life. I have acquired this name, well it has become who I and how I see myself because of a book that has impacted my life as a teenager  called "Lady In Waiting." As a young teenager walking with Christ I did not understand my identity in Christ and what it meant to be a woman of God. This book has changed my perspective of relationships and how I look at myself. The words, quotes, verses, questions, and discussions has all stuck with me, shaped, and shown me what the Lord sees in me,  a woman and how he wants me to be my best. There are lots of guys that have come way, but I have stood firm on these words and the perfect reminder that "I am a lady in waiting." It has encouraged me to always wait on God's best and to give him my everything. it simply taught me my priorities as a young godly lady, Matthew 6:33 "seek first his kingdom and all will be added unto you,"  what has become my life verse. Although it has been almost 7 years since I've read this book, my life is still being changed by it and there is not an experience that goes by that God has reminded me who I am through this book. Despite my short comings and sometimes I forget who I am, I remember the stories of the incredible women of faith that waited on God and his faithfulness to them. That is why I cherish these words and proud to call myself "A Lady In Waiting."

PROVERBS 301:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised."

Idol Checks

Woke up this morning and talked to a friend who I have been discipling. It is so weird that the words she spoke to me is exactly what I needed to hear. I am doing an idol check.

Honestly, I have been emotionally unstable for the past month. I have been emotionally clingy to a certain person in my life. I did not realize the extent of my actions until my friend said these words "I've realized that I have been clingy towards this guy. I do not want to make decisions about my life based on him." Wow, how these words grasped my heart. I have been so emotionally invested that it is consuming me inwardly; I simply forgot where my hope lied. I failed to understand the purpose of being separated from this person. I thought God was punishing me and that he did not want me to be happy- it is obvious where I was looking for joy. I did not see it as a way of God's protection  and healing for me, he is looking past my present. I have not been healed emotionally from my past, which has built all these emotional turmoils inside of me. The wound in  my heart is still open and has not been healed completely. The more emotionally invested I became, the deeper my wound. The emotional pain has become too much and I needed something, the one I have been emotionally invested in to fix it-which is a lost cause. It is so clear that I am putting my happiness, hope of the future, literally my everything into this guy. Relationship is a good thing, but a good thing can be a bad thing when it consumes you.

That is not all- here is the cherry on top, she continues with these words, "I have been so focused on my appearence that  feel like I cannot leave my room without makeup." Inside of me is like "guilty" that is so me. The Lord has spoken to me about how vain I am through other people. Oh, how much I worship my physical appearrence because of my insecurity. I need something to make me feel that "I am beautiful," seeking the affrimations of others. The mirror I look at everyday does not show the true reflection of Christ in me "beauty in Christ," which is more precious. I have been praying about this and have laid it down to Jesus. Physical appearence is one of the things that has held me back from walking fully with God. I want to maintain the image that I have created of myself and do not want that to be stripped away. I know God has set me apart, but I do not want others to look at me any differently.

These are the idols ("gods")in my life that the Lord has shone his light upon. It is something serious because it is hindering my walk with the Lord. I am not resting fully in who I am in Christ Jesus. It is all about him, not a guy or my appearence.

What are the idols in your life, expose them and get rid of them. The only way to get rid of idols in our lives is to be consumed by the love of Christ. When we experience and know the  LOVE of Christ in our lives, our hearts will only want him. God's LOVE is only the way to remove idols in our lives.



EXODUS 20:3 "You shall have no other gods before me"

Down the Aisle

 Saturday I attended the wedding of a church member of mine. I thought to myself, it is that time again, wedding bells. I have thought about the many outfits and dresses I've bought over the years. That' s a lot of weddings I have been to. It is always magical to see the bride walk down the aisle. As soon as the song play, I immediately observe the groom, as his heart melts when he sees her in white and veiled for the first time. The whole ceremony represents something, starting with the aisle. The aisle represents the journey it took to get where these two couples are. The woman walks to her groom which symbolizes their individual walk with Christ. At the end of the ceremony when they are declared husband and wife, they walk down the same aisle together as couple. This symbolizes their new beginning and walk together in Christ. The woman will no longer walk alone, but her husband is there to lead her every step of the way, pointing them to Christ.

I've heard lots of wedding sermons, some that stuck out to me and others that just went in one ear and out the other. It might be a little mean to say, but I have seen some couples that do not represent the picture of marriage as a sacrificial and pure love. Hey, I am not here to judge. On with my point, there were something different about this wedding sermon, I had a moment when it all made sense to me!!!! I am not a married woman yet, but I am thankful for the illustration of godly marriages display in Christian couples. Anyways, when my pastor said these exact words "It is not you or him that bring each other together, it is God." I know this sounds like a DUHH statement, but for me it was an AHHH, I get it. It makes perfect sense going back to the allegory of the wedding aisle. This is where the gift of singleness ant the gift of marriage comes into play  as Paul states in [1 Corinthians 7: 6-9 ] "to the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am." Oh how much do we waste the moments of singleness in order to strengthen our walk with the Lord because we are too focused on trying to find the "right one," being matchmakers for ourselves. This is something that Lord has been showing me and growing me, even in my struggle to want to rush getting married because I think I found my mr. right. He is letting me walk the down aisle without a man because he wants to grow my walk with him, seeking him first (Matthew 6:33) which has been my life verse. 

You are not walking alone done the aisle, God is walking with you. Ladies, do not be in no rush because God is not. Singleness is a gift, so Glorify him with it and stop wasting this precious time by trying to find the one. He will bring you to the man that he has for you. As for now, he wants you to walk with him in holiness.

"You oh dear one are my bridegroom. The one I gave my life for so that you may have joy in me alone.That my Love will be made perfect in you and no one else." I love you." 

-Love, your bridegroom, Christ