Woke up this morning and talked to a friend who I have been discipling. It is so weird that the words she spoke to me is exactly what I needed to hear. I am doing an idol check.
Honestly, I have been emotionally unstable for the past month. I have been emotionally clingy to a certain person in my life. I did not realize the extent of my actions until my friend said these words "I've realized that I have been clingy towards this guy. I do not want to make decisions about my life based on him." Wow, how these words grasped my heart. I have been so emotionally invested that it is consuming me inwardly; I simply forgot where my hope lied. I failed to understand the purpose of being separated from this person. I thought God was punishing me and that he did not want me to be happy- it is obvious where I was looking for joy. I did not see it as a way of God's protection and healing for me, he is looking past my present. I have not been healed emotionally from my past, which has built all these emotional turmoils inside of me. The wound in my heart is still open and has not been healed completely. The more emotionally invested I became, the deeper my wound. The emotional pain has become too much and I needed something, the one I have been emotionally invested in to fix it-which is a lost cause. It is so clear that I am putting my happiness, hope of the future, literally my everything into this guy. Relationship is a good thing, but a good thing can be a bad thing when it consumes you.
That is not all- here is the cherry on top, she continues with these words, "I have been so focused on my appearence that feel like I cannot leave my room without makeup." Inside of me is like "guilty" that is so me. The Lord has spoken to me about how vain I am through other people. Oh, how much I worship my physical appearrence because of my insecurity. I need something to make me feel that "I am beautiful," seeking the affrimations of others. The mirror I look at everyday does not show the true reflection of Christ in me "beauty in Christ," which is more precious. I have been praying about this and have laid it down to Jesus. Physical appearence is one of the things that has held me back from walking fully with God. I want to maintain the image that I have created of myself and do not want that to be stripped away. I know God has set me apart, but I do not want others to look at me any differently.
These are the idols ("gods")in my life that the Lord has shone his light upon. It is something serious because it is hindering my walk with the Lord. I am not resting fully in who I am in Christ Jesus. It is all about him, not a guy or my appearence.
What are the idols in your life, expose them and get rid of them. The only way to get rid of idols in our lives is to be consumed by the love of Christ. When we experience and know the LOVE of Christ in our lives, our hearts will only want him. God's LOVE is only the way to remove idols in our lives.
EXODUS 20:3 "You shall have no other gods before me"
